Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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