Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
