smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
