I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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