I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
