Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
