And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
