If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
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