i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
