There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
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Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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