Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She bit a glass in half.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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