I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I need help removing her.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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