Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
