Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
