K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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