I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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