i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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