whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
