Small penises have feelings too.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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