hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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