you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
