The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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