And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
