it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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