Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
