Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
