His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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