I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
