the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
