I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
