i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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