We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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