speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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