Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There r osticjed everywhere
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
