My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
