Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
