Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
