my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
