Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
