we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
