You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize