well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize