I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
