You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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