We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
