so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
