This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
