I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
