They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
