yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
