Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
