i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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