We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
handjob tips. give me some.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
