Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
