We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
