I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
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did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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