I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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