so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I could make wine with my vomit
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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