Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
