cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
