Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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