So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
