there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
