Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
