She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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