What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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