she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize