Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
