So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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