I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
don't judge my taste in strippers
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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