yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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