Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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