i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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